


The Highly Intermittent Diary of Disco, the Technicolor Amphibilizard

by ShadesOfMauve



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Diary/Journal, Gen, Humor, Travelogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:25:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadesOfMauve/pseuds/ShadesOfMauve
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elder Scrolls games lend themselves to memoirs and travelogues; my Elder Scrolls characters tend to keep diaries. This one is Disco's.</p><p>Remember, kids: Self doubt is for mammals!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Day 1 (numbered from capture while crossing into Skyrim)_

Border crossing slightly more eventful than expected.

Capture by either Imperial or Nord factions was always a risk; summary sentence of execution rather more unexpected. Dragon was a total surprise, also (though v. fortuitous, as distraction allowed escape). Followed Stormcloak away, as following guard who'd been about to facilitate beheading not promising. How dumb do they think we are?

Stormcloak (Raloof, or Rolaff or something) suggested heading to Riverwood, where he lives. Suspect running to your known habitation not the _best_ way to evade recapture, but am in need of resupply, and Ralf quite friendly.

Caught butterfly and ate it.

(Only meant to look. Oops.)

 

* * *

_Day 2_

Spotted a new berry on the road; picked a few for later testing.

First person met in Riverwood is human youngling. Kid said her dad says she shouldn't talk to strangers, but I seemed all right. Told her, "Damn straight, kid. Disco is better than 'alright.' Disco is awesome." Now friends.

Riverwood is v. small town; gossip only entertainment. Residents over-eager to share personal sordid personal lives. Bard and elf in competition for imperial shop keeper woman. Idiot bard wished to enlist my aid through underhanded means, to wit, forged letter from rival. Agreed to help bard and immediately ratted him out to the elf. Elf no better; requested delivery of a second forged letter!

(Picked his pocket and brought both letters to this Camilla; she must be warned that the men in this town are jerks. Now she hates them. Much healthier relationship!)

Ralf said I had a have a ‘score to settle’ with the Imperials. Fair enough; they were going to take my head off (can’t blame them; my head is gorgeous). Then he suggested I’d also want revenge on the dragon. Why?! Dragon did me a solid. Told Ralf we’re cool.

Accidentally ate mysterious berries. Oops. Very tired.

* * *

_Day 3_

Definitely becoming therapist if current mission not successful.

Encountered spurned elf, Faendal, who got very angry and cursed me. Told him I exposed his rival, too; elf thanked me, then sat down on road and started to cry.

Suspect elf is rather lost, really.

Crouched near on road (chicken joined us; solidarity?). Told him trickery no way to gain a mate, relationship built on shaky stilts doomed in the long run, still a young elf, plenty more women in Skyrim.

Seem to have acquired elf.

Took him on invigorating hike through bandit-infested mine to get some sense into his head, then put him to bed.

One has to take care of one's elves.


	2. Whiterun and its Environs. (Also dragons).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which we encounter the Main Quest, and no one involved has an inside voice.

_Day 4_

Went to Whiterun, nearest large city, to report on Dragon attack. Not obligation, but fits well with mission, and v. curious about dragons. Friendly city, though very curious about poorly hidden obviously-intended-to-be-secret door under forge. Why does no one mention this? Shame? Secrecy? Or perhaps door is for forge maintenance, poor camouflage only aesthetic.

Court mage kind of a snot; requested stone tablet from barrow near Riverwood. Said "Oh, this stone tablet?" V. pleased to have saved myself trip. Efficient questing through kleptomania, yay!

 

_Day 5_

City attacked by dragon! Ran w/ guard to western watchtower. Magnificent fight! Dragon v. impressive. Has horns like Disco! Dragon shouted 'Dovahkiin, no!" when it died. Had no idea dragons spoke; if it had wanted to talk, surely should have started with "Excuse me" or "I come in peace"?

Also, gained strange orange power from dead dragon. Blood feels tingly; guards very impressed. Guard asked if I could shout. Yelled "OBVIOUSLY" at guard. Guard looked miffed; not what he meant.

Blood still tingly; tickle spread to nose. Need to sneeze. Turned away (to be polite) and sneeze-shouted "FOO" at butterfly.

Butterfly fell out of air and died.

V. strange and exciting!

 

_Day 6_

Voice from the sky shouted "DOVAHKIIN!" this morning. Asked shopkeeper if that happened often in Whiterun; Shopkeeper looked at me funny. Apparently not? Or perhaps it's v. common and shopkeeper finds it odd to ask.

Maybe they're embarrassed about it, like the not-so-very-secret door. 

_later that day_

Shouting continues. Becoming clear booming voices from the sky are not normal for Whiterun, as populace becoming irritable. 

 

_Day 7_

Woken by runner from Jarl, informing Disco that shouting is in reference to _her_. Shouters are 'Greybeards' (unsure as to identity; nordic cult?) who desire to speak to Disco immediately.

Pointed out they could have used a runner like civilized people; shouting v. rude. Jarl's messenger v. taken aback; said Greybeards v. old, v. respected, and live up the tippy-top of the tallest, coldest mountian.

Said that makes shouting more impressive, not more polite.

Will have to think about it -- not terribly fond of mountains. However constant booming sky voice v. irritating, so stood in center of town square and shouted back "YO! I'M DOWN HERE!"

Sounded pathetic in comparison. Clearly have to work on shouting skills. May have to follow instructions after all. Disco does not _like_ sounding pathetic.

Booming sky voice has stopped, though!

**Author's Note:**

> These are unedited, disordered snippets that I dash out on livejournal and tumblr occasionally. I'm posting them here so I can have a hope of finding them all again.


End file.
